silence~

it is a very silent night with just a light turns on...
i am just alone in a very small room facing to my display...
my mind is blank, can't think of anything deeper...
what make me to become like this?
i am questioning myself...


i realized that i need someone to talk to...i need to express myself
but...who will listen to me?
how do i tell? who do i tell? what should i tell?
it is a just a mess in my mind...

too silent...make me feel weak and lose my energy...........

heading to new path~

i am thinking to challenge myself to a new way...
i do not want to lose my dream as what i had planned before...
my current situation is too weak, too empty, without direction, without future...

i have to power up myself to go for a new path...
i hope i can have supports in different ways...
i know this is not an easy way to start and maybe i might end up with a mess...
give a try if not i will never know...
nothing that i can rely on now...stand alone and be strong...

torn....

i found a friend who i lost contact for a few years on my facebook
she was one of my bestie during my secondary school days
our relationship was torn by some circumtances
i think currently she lives happily in her new life
feel grateful that she can be the way she wanted

i was thinking to send a message through facebook but i didn't
i really feel like to forgive her but i stopped
should i??
i never think of to forgive her but time passes and we all grow up
in a way, we as a mature adult shouldn't think of kids agruement that had passed
i dreamt of her after i found her in facebook
i tried to approach to her in my dream and brought a present for her
we tried to talk but seem like we are strangers
eventhough we can recover the relationship but we can't laugh, can't share, can't talk like what we used to be...

there is a thorn in my heart...
it is so hard for me to step out...
i tried to pull it out...
maybe it is still not the time yet...or...
it will never happen?

no compromise~

i am tire to make compromise already...
today really make me feel like i want to run away...
is that i am less than a kitten in your heart????
maybe the way how you show your love is different...
but it is hard for me to take it if it repeats over and over...

tired...really tired...

i am not small~

sometime i feel like we do not have to think so difficult for live.
there is always a way out and a solution for a problem.
recently i keep on thinking about my life,
feel like i am so small, miserable, boring and cant enjoy at all.
however, i am having a very good life if i look at the contents of my life.
thanks God that i have someone who cares and loves me all the time.
i always compare myself to others when i feel down but still i feel i have more than enough.

supposed to be a special day~

today is 6th august 2009...3 years passed by already...
it is really quick...time really flies...
however, every year i dun have any good memorial for it...
1st year - some incident~
2nd year - time not allowed~
3rd year - stuck in a place
disappointed...empty...voiceless...

anyway, i will look forward for future years...

my dear frens~

feel good after did some favorite job:)

suddenly feel free to edit some photos which were taken a few months ago used to edit a lot of personal photos during my free time before it was quite boring after started my job...all the designs are for commercial use... finally got an idea and edited some of the photos feel good...wan to put more effort and get back the feelings



having fun to disturb a nice shot:)


browsing photos and got the mood for your shadow...

need a pause~

close the eyes and imagine that i am at the mountain area
nice breeze, clear scene, thin fog which make me feel great for everything
sometime i feel like i need a pause for my current life
to feel the silence and refresh myself
i need a power to keep me moving forward
now...i feel exhausted, thirst for love and care...
my past tense will be a very nice memorial for my life
i need a brave to be a today person
do not miss the past, do not fly to future
today's me is all blessed from my Father...