how to cheer up myself???

lately it is so hard for me to smile cheerfully
wondering what is going on in my life
i wish to return to the past rather than having this uncertain life now
what is the disturbance in my mind
i lost my way, lost my mind, lost my interest

sometime i try not to think too much and try to think in positive way
however, at the end of the day still something disturb my mind
no one to talk to, on one to share of, no one will listen
stay alone and stay calm will be most helpful way for me

exhausted with the life i am having
no certain direction like what i have thought before
feel so tire and might dry up soon....